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Hi. Hello.
Imagine, with me, a simpler time.
The sun slowly rises outside your window. Breeze blows in fresh farm air.
Ahhhh! You think. I love my life.
You streeeeetch out, feeling much more awake. Hopping out of bed, you walk into the kitchen and survey the food situation.
Hmmm…I would love some eggs this delightful morning.
You walk out to the chicken coop where your little hens affectionately squawk at you.
You crouch down and admire your hens’ plumage. You find your favorite, Henrietta, and scritch her little head.
Gosh, you think, I hate this part.
Then, deftly, suddenly, without arousing suspicion, you grab Henrietta’s neck and swing her around and around like a carousel oh god you just heard her neck crack oh lord and there’s liquid everywhere, you don’t want to look, the chickens are running in fear, screeching, oh god; she’s stopped moving.
You sigh deeply, and walk into the chicken coop. With Henrietta gone, her eggs are left unguarded.
As you cradle Henrietta’s lifeless body in one hand and her eggs in the other, you feel power like no other surge through you.
In the middle of that dirty chicken coop, you scream out: “I! AM! YOUR! GOD!”
Your ego now satisfied, you skip into the kitchen to enjoy some breakfast. And just think, by 5 Henrietta will be ready too!
Wow. What a trip that was! Really makes you think about life, huh.
I have taken a much easier route to obtain today’s chicken. I just went to Lidl and got the jumbo pack of chicken breasts. I also got a pack of mushrooms, green peppers, carrots, onions. And from that, I shall make a meal.
“What kind of meal?” You ask? “The kind where we violently kill a chicken that we love?”
Nah. Only if you want to. This meal can easily be made vegan if you wish!
Today we are making Mediterranean bowls a.k.a. Buddha bowls a.k.a. really easy healthy bowls of food let’s start okay?
If you’ve never heard of any of these terms, just imagine a bowl where you have some protein, some starch, some vegetables, and some fat to even it all out. It’s the perfect meal all in one serving.
I have made a Mediterranean bowl before, following another recipe, with lots of other ingredients that I just knew I didn’t have.
So I just decided to wing it.
But like, in a cool way, where I write it all down so y’all can copy me (or not, it’s your life I can’t make you do anything).
Honestly, it’s all about the prep work with this meal. We’re gonna be messing up some dishes tonight y’all.
Remember the song “Breaking Dishes” by Rihanna? Imagine that song, but about cleaning dishes because we’ll be cleaning dishes (all night) oh yeah? (uh huh).
I started by chopping all of the vegetables into thick chunks and mixing them together in a large bowl. I also added in one can of chickpeas.
THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT
Dry out your chickpeas BEFORE attempting to season or cook them. They will not become crunchy or delicious like they should if you do not dry them out. I used a paper towel, as seen below.
I then added olive oil and seasonings to the bowl. Now, I ain’t scared of no ghost flavor. I added cumin, basil, ginger, cayenne, turmeric, salt and lime juice. I thought it was appropriately spicy. If you don’t like spice though, skip the cayenne. It adds a kick.
Shove those into the oven and get your butt working on your next two items: protein and starch.
I tried something different last night. I didn’t know if it would work, and honestly, it felt kind of weird. I toasted my quinoa.
I was really anxious about it catching on fire the entire time, and I don’t think it really added that much, flavor wise. Wouldn’t do it again, but had fun trying it out.
While I was attempting to toast the quinoa, I began to chop my chicken breasts into nuggets (RIP Henrietta).
I threw these chunks back into the same bowl I used before and used the same spices, but just like, waaaaay less.
By this point, the quinoa was ready to actually start cooking, so I started that. I readied the pan for the chicken nuggets and started them on a low temp.
As I have spoken of before, I love a good sear.
A sear on veggies?~~~ Beautiful~~~
A sear on chicken? Tears of joy!
A sear on steak? In between I’ll give you my first child and I’ll make my first child with you, really depends on the circumstances, I await your answer.
I really wish I had gotten a picture of how the chicken cooked, but I was busy between watching the quinoa, watching the chicken, and moving the vegetables around.
Anyway, what I do is NOT MOVE THE CHICKEN PIECES WHILE COOKING until they are halfway cooked. Flip, wait a few minutes, then turn up the heat to high to quickly sear. Magnifique!
Everything finished within five minutes of each other. And as someone who is generally pretty shit with food time management, I have to say, I’m really proud of myself!
With everything finished, all that’s left to do is eat!
Use the quinoa as a base, then add the chicken and veggies on top.
Perfection (almost).
I say almost because I forgot two (2) things, which I of course didn’t notice until my second serving.
1. I forgot the fresh greens portion.
2. I forgot the avocado (crying emoji).
These problems are easily fixed. First! Just don’t care about your bones. Problem solved. Second! Just use ranch or some shit I don’t care it’s your life.
I’m kidding guys I totally care about my bones and how they have marrow and blood and holes in them. As for the fat portion, I really did just use ranch. I think it tastes great, but I would also marry ranch dressing so it’s really your call.
Last note: let’s say you’re like me and you don’t have every ingredient on the list below, or just have similar ingredients, or what have you. Feel free to mix it up, and try something new! Good luck and let me know what happens!
Ingredients:
- 1 16 ounce can of chickpeas
- 2 medium carrots
- 2 medium onions
- 2 medium green peppers
- 8-10 bella mushrooms
- 2 raw chicken breasts
- 1 cup uncooked quinoa
- 1 avocado
- .5 lime
- .5 cup coarsely chopped spinach
- 5-7 tablespoons of olive oil
- 1.5 teaspoon of cumin
- 1.5 teaspoon of basil
- .5 teaspoon ginger
- .5 teaspoon cayenne
- .5 teaspoon salt
- .25 teaspoon turmeric
Directions:
- Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
- Start by chopping all your vegetables into thick, 1 inch chunks.
- Place in large bowl.
- Dry out chickpeas, and add to mixture.
- Add 3-4 tablespoons of olive oil to the mixture.
- Add 1 teaspoon of cumin and basil, .5 teaspoon of ginger and cayenne, and .25 teaspoon of salt and turmeric to the mixture. Squeeze in half of the lime juice.
- Mix well.
- Put on tray and place in oven to cook for 30 minutes.
- Start heating 2 cups of water for your quinoa.
- Place a large pan on the stove top for the chicken. Add a tablespoon of olive oil to grease it, and start the temperature on low.
- While heating the water and the pan, chop the chicken into nugget sized chunks.
- Place into the large bowl again, adding 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil.
- Add .5 tablespoons of cumin and basil and .25 teaspoon of salt. Squeeze in the other half of the lime juice.
- Mix well. If your pan is warm now, put the chicken in.
- If your water is boiling now, bring to a simmer and add quinoa. Cook for 15 minutes.
- Cook chicken for 5-7 minutes on each side, minimum.
- When all is done, let cool and serve in a bowl with the fresh spinach and avocado.
Fuck Me Up Softly (With Food) 